How to Heal When You Were Taught to Ignore Your Feelings

Dylan Moore, Founder Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University

You learned early on that emotions were inconvenient. Maybe you were told to toughen up, stop crying, or get over it. Maybe you learned that your feelings didn’t matter—or worse, that they made you weak. So, you did what you had to do: you shut them down.

Now, as an adult, you might struggle to express what you feel—or even know what you feel. You dismiss your pain before anyone else can. You bury your emotions under busyness, logic, or distraction.

But here’s the truth: Ignoring your emotions doesn’t make them disappear—it just buries them deeper. And healing? It starts when you finally allow yourself to feel again.

If you’ve spent your life pushing your emotions aside, this is your reminder: Your feelings matter. You matter. And it’s safe to start listening to yourself again.

The Moment I Realized I Had Been Ignoring My Own Feelings

For a long time, I believed that feeling too much was a problem. I learned to keep my emotions in check, to be the calm one, the logical one, the one who never got too emotional.

I didn’t even realize I was doing it until one day, someone asked me, How do you feel about that?—and I had no answer. Not because I didn’t want to share, but because I genuinely didn’t know.

That moment hit me hard. I had spent so many years dismissing my emotions that I had lost the ability to recognize them at all.

If you’ve ever felt disconnected from your own emotions, I see you. And I want you to know: it’s never too late to start healing. You are allowed to feel. You are allowed to take up space. And you are so much more than what you were taught to suppress.

The Cost of Ignoring Your Feelings

When you grow up believing that emotions are too much, you don’t just lose access to sadness or anger—you lose access to all of your emotions, including joy, excitement, and deep connection.

Ignoring your feelings might look like:

  • Shutting down instead of speaking up – You struggle to express when you’re hurt, upset, or even happy.
  • Overanalyzing instead of feeling – You intellectualize your emotions, turning them into problems to solve instead of experiences to feel.
  • Distracting yourself constantly – You stay busy, keep moving, and avoid stillness because you don’t want to sit with your emotions.
  • Feeling numb or detached – You have a hard time connecting with yourself or others in a deep way.
  • Minimizing your pain – You tell yourself, It’s not a big deal, or Other people have it worse, instead of honoring your feelings.

But here’s the thing: Your emotions don’t just disappear. They stay in your body. They show up as tension, exhaustion, anxiety, or even physical symptoms.

Healing isn’t about drowning in emotions—it’s about learning to trust yourself again. It’s about reclaiming your right to feel, to express, and to exist fully.

And that starts with small, intentional steps.

Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey

Reconnecting With Your Emotions

1. Practice Naming Your Feelings

If you’ve been emotionally shut down for years, recognizing what you feel can feel impossible. Start small. Throughout the day, check in with yourself and ask:

  • What am I feeling right now?
  • Where do I feel it in my body?
  • If I had to name this feeling, what would I call it?

Even if you’re not sure, guess. The more you practice, the easier it becomes.

2. Stop Dismissing Your Emotions

Pay attention to the phrases you use to dismiss your feelings, like:

  • “It’s not a big deal.”
  • “I shouldn’t feel this way.”
  • “Other people have it worse.”

When you catch yourself doing this, pause. Instead of shutting yourself down, try saying:

  • “My feelings are valid.”
  • “It’s okay to feel this way.”
  • “I deserve to acknowledge my emotions.”

Because you do deserve that.

3. Create Safe Spaces to Feel

If expressing emotions feels overwhelming, start by creating small, safe ways to process them:

  • Journaling your thoughts without judgment.
  • Listening to music that matches your mood.
  • Allowing yourself to cry without trying to fix it.

You don’t have to force emotions out—you just have to create space for them to show up.

4. Reconnect With Your Body

Emotions don’t just exist in your mind—they live in your body. If you’ve been suppressing them for years, you might feel disconnected from your physical self.

Try:

  • Deep breathing exercises to regulate your nervous system.
  • Gentle movement (yoga, stretching, walking) to release stored tension.
  • Placing a hand over your heart or stomach and simply noticing what sensations arise.

Reconnecting with your body helps you reconnect with yourself.

5. Let Yourself Be Seen

Healing isn’t just about feeling—it’s about allowing others to witness and hold space for you. If you’ve spent your life hiding your emotions, practice opening up in small ways:

  • Sharing a vulnerable moment with a trusted friend.
  • Saying “I’m struggling” instead of “I’m fine.”
  • Letting someone comfort you without pushing them away.

You don’t have to do this alone. You deserve support.

Rise Fierce and Free

If you were taught to ignore your feelings, I want you to know this: Your emotions are not too much. You are not too much.

You deserve to feel, to express, to take up space. You deserve a life where you are not just surviving, but fully living.

So today, I challenge you: What’s one small way you can honor your emotions? Maybe it’s writing down how you feel. Maybe it’s allowing yourself to rest. Maybe it’s simply whispering to yourself, It’s okay for me to feel this.

Whatever it is, take that step. Because you are healing. You are rising. And you are so much stronger than the silence that once held you back.

Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey

Hi, I’m Dylan Moore — and I’m here to help you move past the pain and the trauma that have stood in the way of your healing.

For over 30 years, I’ve guided women through emotional recovery and personal transformation. As an Author and Cognitive Behavioral Specialist, my mission is to empower you with the tools and support you need to break free from the past.

I founded Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University to make healing practical, approachable, and real. I take complex psychological concepts and turn them into clear, actionable steps—always with compassion and care.

Now, it’s your turn to release the hurt and step into the greatest version of who you were always meant to be. And I’ll be right here to walk that path with you.