How To Stop Seeking Validation From Others

Dylan Moore, Founder Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University

Have you ever caught yourself waiting for someone else’s approval before feeling good about yourself? Maybe you overanalyze how people respond to you, replay conversations in your head, or feel a little lost when no one is cheering you on.

Seeking validation isn’t a flaw—it’s human. We all want to be seen, heard, and valued. But when your self-worth depends on external approval, it becomes exhausting. You start molding yourself to fit expectations, overexplaining your choices, and questioning whether you’re “good enough” every time someone doesn’t respond the way you hoped.

Here’s the truth: You don’t need permission to be worthy. You don’t need approval to be enough. You already are.

If you’re tired of letting other people’s opinions define you, let’s talk about how to stop seeking validation and start standing strong in your own worth.

The Moment I Realized I Was Letting Validation Control Me

For a long time, I measured my worth by how others saw me. If someone praised me, I felt like I was doing well. If someone criticized me—or worse, ignored me—it felt like I had failed. I overthought my decisions, replayed conversations, and constantly wondered, Am I good enough?

One day, I caught myself hesitating before sending a message. I had typed it out, deleted it, reworded it—ten times. Why? Because I was afraid of how the other person would perceive me.

That moment hit me hard. I wasn’t making choices based on what I wanted—I was making choices based on how I thought others would react. And I realized I didn’t want to live like that anymore.

If you’ve ever felt trapped by the need for validation, I see you. But I promise—there is freedom on the other side. And it starts with trusting yourself more than you trust other people’s opinions.

The Cost of Living for Approval

Seeking validation seems harmless, but over time, it can quietly control your life.

The Hidden Ways It Holds You Back

  • You second-guess yourself constantly – Because you don’t trust your own judgment without outside confirmation.
  • You struggle with boundaries – Because saying no feels risky when you’re wired to keep people happy.
  • You fear criticism – Because negative feedback feels like a personal failure, not just an opinion.
  • You feel disconnected from yourself – Because you’ve spent so much time shaping yourself for others that you don’t even know what you want.

But here’s the truth: No amount of external validation will ever be enough if you don’t believe in yourself first.

Because the applause will fade. Opinions will change. And if your worth is tied to those things, you’ll always be chasing something outside of yourself.

Healing means realizing that your approval of yourself matters most.

Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey

Reclaiming Your Self-Worth

1. Recognize When You’re Seeking Validation

The first step in breaking this habit is awareness. Notice when you’re looking for approval and ask yourself:

  • Am I making this decision for me or for someone else’s approval?
  • Would I still do this if no one saw or acknowledged it?
  • Am I waiting for permission to feel good about myself?

Simply recognizing the pattern takes away some of its power.

2. Validate Yourself First

Instead of waiting for someone else to tell you you’re doing great, give that validation to yourself.

Try this:

  • At the end of the day, list three things you’re proud of—big or small.
  • When you do something well, acknowledge it before looking for outside praise.
  • When self-doubt creeps in, talk to yourself like you would a close friend—with encouragement, not criticism.

You don’t have to wait for someone else to tell you you’re doing enough. You already are.

3. Set Boundaries Around External Opinions

Not every opinion deserves space in your mind. If you’re constantly looking for approval, it might be time to limit whose voices you give power to.

  • If someone constantly criticizes you, distance yourself from their influence.
  • If social media makes you doubt yourself, take a break or curate your feed.
  • If you’re about to ask for validation, pause and ask, Do I already know the answer?

Your self-worth should never be dependent on the most critical person in the room.

4. Make Choices Based on What Feels Right for You

The best way to build trust in yourself? Start making decisions without waiting for approval.

  • Wear the outfit you love—even if no one compliments it.
  • Make the career move that excites you—not the one that looks best to others.
  • Express yourself freely—without worrying about who “gets it.”

The more you practice choosing you, the stronger your confidence will become.

5. Embrace the Discomfort of Disapproval

Here’s the hard truth: Not everyone will approve of your choices. And that’s okay.

Let people have their opinions—but don’t let them dictate your life.

If someone doesn’t like your decision, remind yourself:

  • Their opinion doesn’t define me.
  • I am allowed to live for myself.
  • I don’t need approval to be worthy.

Because at the end of the day, the only person who has to live with your choices is you.

Rise Fierce and Free

You don’t need to prove yourself. You don’t need permission to take up space. You don’t need anyone’s approval to be enough.

So here’s my challenge to you: What’s one thing you can do today without seeking validation from anyone else? Maybe it’s making a decision without asking for reassurance. Maybe it’s wearing something bold. Maybe it’s simply trusting yourself.

Whatever it is, take that step. Because you, my friend, are rising. You are healing. And you are so much stronger than the opinions that once held you back.

Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey

Hi, I’m Dylan Moore — and I’m here to help you move past the pain and the trauma that have stood in the way of your healing.

For over 30 years, I’ve guided women through emotional recovery and personal transformation. As an Author and Cognitive Behavioral Specialist, my mission is to empower you with the tools and support you need to break free from the past.

I founded Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University to make healing practical, approachable, and real. I take complex psychological concepts and turn them into clear, actionable steps—always with compassion and care.

Now, it’s your turn to release the hurt and step into the greatest version of who you were always meant to be. And I’ll be right here to walk that path with you.