How to Recognize When You’re Stuck in Survival Mode
Dylan Moore, Founder Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University
You wake up already exhausted. You move through your day on autopilot, doing what needs to get done but never quite feeling present. You’re always bracing for the next challenge, the next fire to put out.
Maybe you tell yourself, I just need to get through this week. But the weeks keep piling up. You’re functioning, but you’re not living.
That’s survival mode. And the hardest part? Sometimes, you don’t even realize you’re in it.
Survival mode isn’t just about hard times. It’s what happens when stress, trauma, or constant responsibility rewire your brain to believe that rest is unsafe and slowing down is not an option.
If you’ve been feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, or like you’re just getting by, let’s talk about how to recognize when you’re in survival mode—and how to start reclaiming your life.
The Moment I Realized I Was Stuck in Survival Mode
I spent years living in survival mode without even knowing it. I was constantly on, constantly problem-solving, constantly pushing through—even when I was running on empty.
I told myself I was fine. That I was just busy. That I’d slow down once things calmed down.
But things never calmed down. And eventually, I hit a point where I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I wasn’t just tired—I was disconnected from myself. I had forgotten what it felt like to feel at peace.
That’s when it hit me: I wasn’t thriving. I was barely holding myself together.
If you’ve ever felt this way, I see you. But I also want you to know—there’s a way out. You don’t have to live in survival mode forever.
The Cost of Living in Survival Mode
When survival mode becomes your default, it affects everything—your body, your mind, your relationships, and your ability to feel joy.
1. You’re Always Exhausted (Even After Sleeping)
Survival mode keeps your nervous system on high alert. Even when you’re resting, your body doesn’t fully relax—so you wake up feeling just as tired as when you went to bed.
2. You Feel Numb or Disconnected
When your brain is focused on getting through the day, it shuts down anything it sees as unnecessary. That includes deep emotions, creativity, and even joy. You might feel like you’re watching your life happen instead of actually living it.
3. You Struggle to Make Decisions
Survival mode keeps your brain in fight-or-flight, making even simple decisions feel overwhelming. You might find yourself avoiding choices altogether because everything feels too much.
4. You Feel Like You Can’t Slow Down
Even when you have free time, you might feel guilty for resting. Survival mode convinces you that if you stop, everything will fall apart. But the truth is—you are allowed to rest. Nothing bad will happen if you take a breath.
5. Your Needs Always Come Last
When you’re just trying to survive, things like self-care, connection, and joy feel unimportant. You might push your needs aside, telling yourself you’ll deal with them later—but later never comes.
Survival mode isn’t just exhausting—it steals your ability to truly live.
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Breaking Free from Survival Mode
1. Acknowledge That You’re in Survival Mode
The first step to getting out? Recognizing that you’re in it. Survival mode makes everything feel normal, even when it’s not.
Start by asking yourself:
- Am I constantly running on empty?
- Do I struggle to slow down, even when I have the chance?
- Do I feel like I’m always waiting for the next problem?
If the answer is yes, it’s not just stress—you’re in survival mode. And that means it’s time to start shifting out of it.
2. Start with Small Acts of Safety and Comfort
Your brain won’t leave survival mode until it feels safe. That means rebuilding a sense of security—not by forcing yourself to “relax,” but by adding small moments of comfort into your day.
Try:
- Wrapping yourself in a soft blanket and really feeling the warmth.
- Drinking a cup of tea or coffee slowly, savoring each sip.
- Putting your hand on your heart and saying, I am safe right now.
These little moments teach your brain that it’s okay to slow down.
3. Give Yourself Permission to Rest
Rest is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. But when you’ve been stuck in survival mode, rest can feel unsafe or even wrong.
If slowing down makes you feel guilty, remind yourself:
- Rest is productive.
- I am allowed to take up space and care for myself.
- I don’t have to earn rest—I deserve it simply because I exist.
Start with tiny breaks—even just five minutes of deep breathing or listening to your favorite song. Build from there.
4. Reconnect with Joy (Without Pressure)
When was the last time you did something just because you enjoyed it?
Survival mode tells you that fun isn’t important. But joy is what reminds your nervous system that you are safe.
Try:
- Watching a show that makes you laugh.
- Coloring, doodling, or playing with art supplies.
- Dancing to your favorite song—even if it’s just for one minute.
Let yourself feel joy without guilt.
5. Ask for Help (You Don’t Have to Do This Alone)
One of the hardest parts of breaking out of survival mode? Letting people in. When you’re used to handling everything alone, asking for support can feel unnatural.
But healing isn’t something you have to do by yourself. Reach out to a friend, therapist, or community. Even just admitting, “I’ve been struggling”, can be a huge step toward feeling less alone.
Rise Fierce and Free
If you’ve been living in survival mode, I want you to hear this: You are not broken. You are not weak. You are doing the best you can.
But you don’t have to live like this forever. You don’t have to just survive. You deserve to feel safe, to feel joy, to actually live.
So here’s my challenge for you: What’s one small way you can shift out of survival mode today? Maybe it’s taking five minutes just for yourself. Maybe it’s reminding yourself that you deserve rest. Maybe it’s simply admitting that you need more than just survival.
Whatever it is, take that step. Because you, my friend, are rising. You are healing. And you are so much more than what survival mode has made you believe.
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Hi, I’m Dylan Moore — and I’m here to help you move past the pain and the trauma that have stood in the way of your healing.
For over 30 years, I’ve guided women through emotional recovery and personal transformation. As an Author and Cognitive Behavioral Specialist, my mission is to empower you with the tools and support you need to break free from the past.
I founded Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University to make healing practical, approachable, and real. I take complex psychological concepts and turn them into clear, actionable steps—always with compassion and care.
Now, it’s your turn to release the hurt and step into the greatest version of who you were always meant to be. And I’ll be right here to walk that path with you.
