The Hidden Grief of Growing Up Too Fast
Dylan Moore, Founder Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University
Some people look back on their childhood with warmth, remembering carefree days filled with laughter, play, and endless possibilities. But for others, childhood felt more like a responsibility—one filled with burdens they were never meant to carry.
If you grew up too fast, you know what I mean. You weren’t just a child; you were a caregiver, a mediator, a protector. You learned to be responsible before you ever learned to be carefree.
And now, as an adult, there’s a grief that lingers. Not for something you lost, but for something you never fully got to have.
If this resonates with you, I want you to know: You are allowed to grieve the childhood you never had. You are allowed to reclaim joy, play, and softness now. It’s not too late. Let’s talk about what this hidden grief looks like—and how you can begin to heal.
The Moment I Realized I Had Missed My Own Childhood
For a long time, I didn’t think much about my childhood. I knew I had taken on more responsibility than I should have, but I thought that was just… life.
Then one day, I was watching a group of kids play—completely uninhibited, laughing, lost in their own little world. And it hit me: I don’t remember ever feeling like that.
I had fun as a kid, sure. But I was also always aware of things I shouldn’t have had to worry about. I was always on alert, making sure everyone else was okay, feeling like the weight of the world was on my shoulders.
And for the first time, I let myself admit: I never really got to be a child. And that loss… it hurts.
If you’ve ever felt this, I see you. And I want you to know: You deserved more. And it’s okay to grieve what you didn’t get.
The Impact of Growing Up Too Fast
Losing your childhood isn’t just about missing out on play—it shapes how you move through the world as an adult.
1. You Struggle to Rest and Play
When childhood was about responsibility, fun can feel… foreign. Rest can feel wrong. You might struggle to enjoy things just for the sake of it, because you’ve been wired to believe that if you’re not productive, you’re failing.
2. You Feel Responsible for Everyone and Everything
If you were the fixer as a child, you probably still feel like it’s your job to hold everything together. You may struggle with saying no, setting boundaries, or letting others take care of you—because you learned early on that you were the one who had to be strong.
3. You Minimize Your Own Needs
When you grew up worrying about everyone else, your own needs likely took a backseat. Now, as an adult, you might find it difficult to express what you need—or even know what you need—because for so long, you were focused on others.
4. You Carry a Deep, Unspoken Grief
It’s a quiet kind of grief—the kind that sneaks up on you in unexpected moments. Maybe you feel it when you see kids being carefree. Maybe it hits you when you struggle to relax, to let yourself just be.
This grief is real. And ignoring it won’t make it go away. But healing? That’s possible.
Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey
Healing the Lost Childhood Within You
1. Acknowledge That Your Grief Is Valid
The first step to healing is allowing yourself to recognize the loss.
- You are not being dramatic for feeling sad about the childhood you missed.
- You are not ungrateful for grieving what you never had.
- Your experiences matter, even if other people don’t understand them.
Try writing a letter to your younger self, acknowledging what they went through. Tell them what they should have had. Let them know they were never meant to carry so much alone.
2. Give Yourself Permission to Play
Your inner child is still inside you, waiting for permission to come out. Play is not just for kids—it’s a way to heal.
Try:
- Coloring, painting, or doing a craft just for fun.
- Dancing to music without caring how you look.
- Watching your favorite childhood movie and letting yourself feel all the emotions.
Letting yourself play now doesn’t erase what you lost—but it does remind your inner child that they’re safe to exist again.
3. Challenge the Need to Always Be “Strong”
If you grew up carrying too much, you might feel like you can’t break down or be vulnerable. But strength isn’t about holding everything in—it’s about allowing yourself to feel and heal.
Start small:
- Let someone else take care of you for once.
- Say no when you need to, without guilt.
- Give yourself permission to feel sadness, anger, or grief—without rushing to “fix” it.
4. Surround Yourself With People Who Allow You to Be Soft
You don’t have to carry everything alone anymore. Healing happens in safe spaces, with people who remind you that you are allowed to be taken care of too.
Find the people who:
- Validate your feelings instead of minimizing them.
- Make space for your inner child, encouraging joy and play.
- Support you in ways that make you feel light—not burdened.
Rise Fierce and Free
If you grew up too fast, I want you to hear this: You are allowed to grieve. You are allowed to heal. And you are allowed to reclaim joy, softness, and play—at any age.
The childhood you lost may never come back, but that doesn’t mean you can’t give yourself pieces of it now.
So here’s my challenge for you: What’s one small way you can honor your inner child today? Maybe it’s playing a game, drawing, dancing, or simply saying, I deserved better, and I’m giving myself more now.
Whatever it is, take that step. Because you, my friend, are rising. You are healing. And you are so much more than the weight you carried as a child.
Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey
Hi, I’m Dylan Moore — and I’m here to help you move past the pain and the trauma that have stood in the way of your healing.
For over 30 years, I’ve guided women through emotional recovery and personal transformation. As an Author and Cognitive Behavioral Specialist, my mission is to empower you with the tools and support you need to break free from the past.
I founded Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University to make healing practical, approachable, and real. I take complex psychological concepts and turn them into clear, actionable steps—always with compassion and care.
Now, it’s your turn to release the hurt and step into the greatest version of who you were always meant to be. And I’ll be right here to walk that path with you.
