You Weren’t ‘Too Much’—They Just Weren’t Enough
Dylan Moore, Founder Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University
Maybe you’ve heard it before. That you’re too intense. Too emotional. Too sensitive. That you need to tone it down, shrink a little, be easier to love. And maybe, for a while, you believed it. Maybe you started second-guessing your laughter, your ambition, your deep feelings, your voice.
But here’s the truth: You were never too much. They just weren’t enough.
The right people will never make you feel like you need to apologize for being exactly who you are. The right people will celebrate your passion, not shame it. They will see your depth as a gift, not a burden. If someone couldn’t hold space for your heart, your energy, your truth—that’s not a reflection of you. That’s a reflection of them.
So let’s talk about releasing the idea that you need to dim yourself just to make someone else comfortable.
The Moment I Stopped Shrinking
I used to believe that if I was just a little less, people would love me more. If I kept my emotions in check, if I softened my opinions, if I didn’t show up so much—maybe I’d finally fit in.
I remember one moment in particular: I was in a conversation with someone I deeply cared about, and I saw their face change when I got too excited about something. Too expressive. Too animated. Their expression said, Tone it down. And I did. I spent years learning how to adjust myself to make others more comfortable. But the more I shrank, the more invisible I felt. And the lonelier I became.
One day, I realized something: I wasn’t too much. I was just too much for the wrong people. The ones who truly saw me? They never needed me to be less. And the ones who did? They were never meant to hold my heart in the first place.
If you’ve been made to feel like you have to shrink to be loved, hear me when I say this: You were never too much. You were just in the wrong room.
The Fear of Being ‘Too Much’
So many of us—especially women—are taught to make ourselves smaller. To be agreeable, to keep our emotions in check, to not be “difficult.” We internalize the belief that being fully ourselves will drive people away, that we need to be easier, quieter, more digestible.
Here’s what that does over time:
- You start doubting your instincts. You hesitate before expressing yourself, questioning if you’re too much again.
- You filter your emotions. Instead of feeling freely, you edit yourself to make sure you don’t overwhelm others.
- You settle for relationships that don’t fully see you. You accept being half-loved because you think it’s better than nothing.
- You lose connection with yourself. The more you shrink, the harder it is to remember who you were before you felt the need to be smaller.
But the truth is, being “too much” for the wrong people just means you haven’t found the right ones yet. The people who are meant for you won’t ask you to be less—they’ll meet you at your level.
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Reclaiming Your Space
If you’re tired of feeling like you need to shrink yourself to be loved, here’s how to start stepping back into your full self:
1. Recognize When You’re Shrinking
Start noticing when you dim your light. When do you hold back? When do you downplay your emotions, your opinions, your excitement? Awareness is the first step to change.
2. Stop Apologizing for Your Feelings
Your emotions are not an inconvenience. You don’t need to say “sorry” for crying, for being passionate, for wanting more. Your depth is a strength, not a weakness.
3. Find the People Who Love You as You Are
You deserve relationships where you feel fully seen, not half-loved. If you feel like you have to shrink for someone, ask yourself: Is this the right space for me? The right people will make you feel safe in your fullness.
4. Own Your Presence Without Guilt
Take up space. Speak up. Let yourself be excited. Share your thoughts without watering them down. The people who are meant for you will never make you feel like you need to be less.
5. Remind Yourself Daily: You Are Enough
Write it down. Say it out loud. Keep reminding yourself until it feels true—because it is true. You were never the problem. You were never too much. They were just not enough to handle all that you are.
Rising Fierce and Free
At the end of the day, you are not here to fit into someone else’s smallness. You are not here to make yourself more palatable for people who were never meant to hold all that you are.
You deserve to take up space. To be loud. To be passionate. To be you—fully and unapologetically.
So, if you’ve been told you’re “too much,” I hope you let those words go. You were never too much—you were exactly enough. They just weren’t enough to see it.
Tell me—what’s one way you’re choosing to take up space today? Drop a comment, share your journey, and know that in this space, you are seen, supported, and rising fierce and free.
Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey
Hi, I’m Dylan Moore — and I’m here to help you move past the pain and the trauma that have stood in the way of your healing.
For over 30 years, I’ve guided women through emotional recovery and personal transformation. As an Author and Cognitive Behavioral Specialist, my mission is to empower you with the tools and support you need to break free from the past.
I founded Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University to make healing practical, approachable, and real. I take complex psychological concepts and turn them into clear, actionable steps—always with compassion and care.
Now, it’s your turn to release the hurt and step into the greatest version of who you were always meant to be. And I’ll be right here to walk that path with you.
