Healing Isn’t Just Bubble Baths and Journaling
Dylan Moore, Founder Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University
We’ve been sold a soft, aesthetically pleasing version of healing. You know the one—bubble baths, scented candles, journaling with a cup of herbal tea in hand. And while those things can be part of the process, real healing? It’s a lot messier. It’s breaking cycles that have existed for generations. It’s confronting your own patterns. It’s doing the uncomfortable work of choosing yourself even when it feels unnatural.
Healing isn’t just self-care Sundays and deep breaths—it’s making hard choices, having tough conversations, and learning to sit with emotions you used to run from. It’s not always cute. It’s not always easy. But it’s always worth it.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re “doing healing wrong” because you’re not always at peace, I want you to know: You’re not failing. You’re in the thick of it. And that’s exactly where transformation happens.
When I Realized Healing Was Work
For a long time, I thought healing would feel good. I thought I’d hit a point where the pain was behind me, and all that was left was peace. But then I actually started doing the work, and guess what? It didn’t always feel like progress. Some days, it felt like unraveling. Like losing pieces of myself I thought I needed. Like standing in front of my reflection and not recognizing who I was becoming.
I remember a specific moment—sitting in my car after setting a boundary for the first time. I should’ve felt empowered. Instead, I felt guilty. Was I being too harsh? Was I making a mistake? My instinct was to backtrack, to apologize, to make things easier for everyone else. But healing meant not doing that. It meant letting discomfort sit instead of rushing to fix it.
If you’re in that space, I see you. Healing doesn’t always feel good, but that doesn’t mean you’re not growing. Keep going. It gets lighter.
The Truth About Growth
Healing isn’t just about feeling better—it’s about becoming free. And freedom? It comes with a cost. It requires letting go of what’s familiar, even when familiarity feels safer than growth.
Here’s why this conversation is so important:
- Healing means unlearning. Many of us were raised with beliefs that kept us small—people-pleasing, avoiding conflict, suppressing emotions. Healing asks us to challenge all of that.
- It’s not instant. Healing isn’t a weekend retreat or a five-step process. It’s a lifelong commitment to choosing yourself, even on the hard days.
- It’s uncomfortable. Growth requires discomfort. Setting boundaries, speaking up, stepping away from relationships that no longer serve you—it’s all painful before it’s liberating.
- It’s deeper than self-care. Face masks and affirmations are great, but true healing is about how you show up for yourself when no one is watching.
If you’ve ever thought, Why is this so hard? Why does healing hurt?, know this: You’re not doing it wrong. You’re doing it right.
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Embracing the Hard Parts
If healing doesn’t always feel peaceful, how do you keep going? Here are some ways to navigate the messy middle:
1. Stop Expecting Healing to Feel Good Immediately
Healing isn’t a straight line. Some days, you’ll feel like you’re making progress; other days, you’ll feel like you’re back at square one. That’s normal. Growth isn’t linear—it’s cyclical. Trust that even when it feels like nothing is changing, you are changing.
2. Let Yourself Grieve the Old Version of You
You’re not just healing—you’re becoming someone new. And that means leaving parts of yourself behind. The version of you that tolerated mistreatment. That ignored her own needs. That played small. It’s okay to mourn her, even as you grow into something stronger.
3. Recognize That Healing Isn’t Always ‘Productive’
We live in a world that values results. But healing isn’t about checking things off a list. Some days, progress looks like sitting with your emotions instead of numbing them. Some days, it’s simply resting. You don’t have to achieve healing—you just have to allow it.
4. Set Boundaries Without Guilt
One of the hardest parts of healing is realizing that not everyone will like the new, empowered version of you. That’s okay. Your boundaries are not up for negotiation. You don’t have to keep shrinking just to make others comfortable.
5. Surround Yourself with People Who Get It
Healing in isolation is tough. Find people who understand what you’re going through—whether it’s close friends, a therapist, or an online community. Being seen and validated makes the hard days easier.
Rising Fierce and Free
Healing isn’t always pretty. It’s not always peaceful. But every time you choose yourself, every time you refuse to repeat an old pattern, every time you say no to what drains you—you are healing.
You don’t have to get it perfect. You don’t have to feel good every step of the way. You just have to keep going.
So tell me—what’s one way you’re choosing yourself in your healing journey right now? Drop a comment, share your story, and know that in this space, you are seen, supported, and rising fierce and free.
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Hi, I’m Dylan Moore — and I’m here to help you move past the pain and the trauma that have stood in the way of your healing.
For over 30 years, I’ve guided women through emotional recovery and personal transformation. As an Author and Cognitive Behavioral Specialist, my mission is to empower you with the tools and support you need to break free from the past.
I founded Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University to make healing practical, approachable, and real. I take complex psychological concepts and turn them into clear, actionable steps—always with compassion and care.
Now, it’s your turn to release the hurt and step into the greatest version of who you were always meant to be. And I’ll be right here to walk that path with you.
