Why You Keep Holding onto Relationships That Should Have Ended 3 Red Flags Ago
Dylan Moore, Founder Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University
Ah yes, the tragic optimism of thinking your love will be their wake-up call. That if you’re just patient enough… kind enough… devoted enough…
They’ll transform into the person you saw in flashes—before the chaos became consistent.
“They just need time…”
“We’ve been through so much together…”
“But everyone has flaws…”
Tell me—have you performed this sonnet of self-abandonment before?
Because here’s the truth: You’re not asking for too much. You’re just staying with someone giving too little.
When I Realized I Was in Love with Potential, Not a Person
There was a time I stayed way past the expiration date of a relationship because I believed, truly believed, that if I loved her hard enough, she would heal.
I was loyal. Devoted. Hopeful.
But what I didn’t realize was that I wasn’t in love with her—I was in love with the idea of who she might become.
And every time she fell short, I just tried harder.
Until one day, I stopped romanticizing red flags and started asking: Why am I working this hard for someone who’s barely showing up?
That was the day I walked out of the fantasy—and back into my reality.
When Endurance Is Mistaken for Intimacy
If you’ve ever said:
✔ “But we’ve been through so much…”
✔ “They just need to heal…”
✔ “I know deep down they’re a good person…”
Then please take a deep breath and consider this:
✔ You may be in love with their potential—not their reality.
✔ You’ve equated your ability to endure mistreatment with the depth of your love.
✔ You fear the grief of leaving more than the pain of staying.
✔ You think time invested equals value—when really, it just reveals patterns.
But history is not a good enough reason to abandon your future.
Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey
How To Stop Holding On To What’s Hurting You
It’s not about becoming cold. It’s about becoming clear.
1. Write Down Their Actual Behaviors—Not Their Excuses
Stop grading them on the curve of who they could be. Start measuring what is.
2. Ask Yourself: Would I Want This for Someone I Love?
If not, why are you tolerating it for yourself?
3. Track the Emotional Cost
How much energy are you spending explaining, defending, or recovering from this person? That’s not love—that’s labor.
4. Recognize the Difference Between Excitement and Safety
Butterflies are cute. But safety is sacred. And your nervous system deserves calm.
5. Let Walking Away Be a Celebration, Not a Failure
You’re not giving up. You’re graduating—from the curriculum of self-neglect.
Your Love Was Never the Problem—It Was the Investment Strategy
Let’s be bold: You are not too much. You just kept giving too much to someone who never learned how to receive it.
You were cast in a production that had no intention of evolving. And now it’s time to stop hoping for a plot twist and write your own damn ending.
So ask yourself: Who taught you that love should feel like fixing?
And more importantly—who might you become when you stop building homes in people who only offer you scaffolding?
Together we rise. Together we heal. Let’s rise fierce into our new life of personal power and freedom.
Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey
Hi, I’m Dylan Moore — and I’m here to help you move past the pain and the trauma that have stood in the way of your healing.
For over 30 years, I’ve guided women through emotional recovery and personal transformation. As an Author and Cognitive Behavioral Specialist, my mission is to empower you with the tools and support you need to break free from the past.
I founded Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University to make healing practical, approachable, and real. I take complex psychological concepts and turn them into clear, actionable steps—always with compassion and care.
Now, it’s your turn to release the hurt and step into the greatest version of who you were always meant to be. And I’ll be right here to walk that path with you.
