The Problem Isn’t Your Anxiety, It’s How You React to It
Dylan Moore, Founder Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University
You know that tightness in your chest, the racing thoughts, the feeling that something is wrong even when everything seems fine? We’ve been taught to see anxiety as a problem that needs to be fixed, silenced, or pushed away. But what if the real issue isn’t your anxiety—it’s how you react to it?
Anxiety isn’t your enemy. It’s a signal, a messenger, a protector that’s sometimes just a little too eager. Instead of fighting it, what if you learned to work with it? Because the more you resist it, the stronger it gets. But when you shift your response—when you meet anxiety with curiosity instead of fear—you reclaim your power.
Let’s talk about what that actually looks like.
The Moment I Realized I Was Fighting the Wrong Battle
I remember one night, lying in bed, feeling like my heart was trying to sprint out of my chest. My mind was a battlefield, flooded with worst-case scenarios, spiraling into the familiar “what ifs.” I was exhausted, but sleep felt impossible. And in that moment, I did what I always did—I panicked about my panic.
I told myself I shouldn’t feel this way. I needed to stop it. I needed to calm down, NOW. But the more I tried to force myself out of it, the worse it got.
Then, something clicked. What if instead of fighting it, I just… let it be? I took a deep breath and whispered, “Okay, anxiety. You’re here. I see you.” I let the discomfort exist without trying to shove it away. And somehow, in that surrender, I felt a shift. The panic didn’t disappear instantly, but its grip loosened.
That night changed everything for me. Because I realized the problem wasn’t my anxiety—it was my resistance to it. And once I stopped fighting, I could finally start healing.
If you’ve been caught in the same battle, I see you. I feel you. And I want you to know, there’s another way.
Anxiety Isn’t the Villain, Resistance Is
We live in a world that tells us to be “calm” and “in control” at all times. So when anxiety shows up, we panic about panicking. We try to suppress, distract, numb, or outrun it. And when that doesn’t work, we blame ourselves for still feeling this way.
But anxiety isn’t the real enemy. The struggle comes from how we react to it—how we tense up, resist, and tell ourselves we “shouldn’t” feel this way. That resistance turns discomfort into suffering. It’s like quicksand: the more you fight, the deeper you sink.
When you stop seeing anxiety as something to eliminate and start seeing it as something to understand, everything shifts. You move from victim to observer. From powerless to empowered. And that’s where real healing begins.
Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey
How to Work With Your Anxiety (Instead of Against It)
So how do you start responding to anxiety in a way that actually helps? Here are a few steps to try:
- Pause and Acknowledge It
Instead of pushing anxiety away, take a breath and recognize it: “I’m feeling anxious right now, and that’s okay.” Just naming it reduces its power. You are not your anxiety—it’s just an experience passing through you. - Shift from Judgment to Curiosity
Instead of thinking, “Why am I like this? I need to stop feeling this way,” try asking, “What is my anxiety trying to tell me?” Sometimes it’s a signal that you need rest, boundaries, or self-care. Other times, it’s just your brain on autopilot. Either way, curiosity defuses the fear. - Ground Yourself in the Present
Anxiety thrives on worst-case scenarios and future fears. Bring yourself back to right now with simple grounding techniques:- Feel your feet on the floor.
- Take five slow, deep breaths.
- Name five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, one you can taste.
- Let It Be Without Feeding It
The goal isn’t to make anxiety disappear—it’s to allow it without feeding the spiral. Imagine it as a wave: it rises, peaks, and then naturally falls. If you let it pass without adding more fear to it, it will lose its grip faster than you think. - Talk to Yourself Like Someone You Love
When anxiety hits, how do you talk to yourself? Do you criticize, shame, or pressure yourself to “just get over it”? Try speaking to yourself the way you would comfort a dear friend. “It’s okay to feel this. You’re safe. You’re doing your best.” Compassion is a game-changer.
You Are Stronger Than Your Fear
Anxiety might be loud, but it’s not in charge. You are. And the moment you stop fighting it and start responding with understanding, you take back your power.
The next time anxiety shows up, I want you to remember this: You are not broken. You do not need to be “fixed.” You are human, and you are learning a new way to move through the world—one where anxiety doesn’t control you.
Take it one breath at a time. One moment at a time. You’ve got this.
And if this resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Drop a comment, share your experience, or let’s continue this conversation together. Because you are never alone in this.
You are rising. Fierce and free.
Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey
Hi, I’m Dylan Moore — and I’m here to help you move past the pain and the trauma that have stood in the way of your healing.
For over 30 years, I’ve guided women through emotional recovery and personal transformation. As an Author and Cognitive Behavioral Specialist, my mission is to empower you with the tools and support you need to break free from the past.
I founded Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University to make healing practical, approachable, and real. I take complex psychological concepts and turn them into clear, actionable steps—always with compassion and care.
Now, it’s your turn to release the hurt and step into the greatest version of who you were always meant to be. And I’ll be right here to walk that path with you.
