If You’re Waiting for Closure, You’re Wasting Your Time
Dylan Moore, Founder Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University
We’ve all been there—sitting in the wreckage of a relationship, friendship, or situation that ended without explanation. The unanswered questions, the loose ends, the gnawing feeling that if you could just understand, you’d finally be able to move on.
But here’s the truth: Closure isn’t something they can give you. It’s something you decide for yourself.
If you’re waiting for an apology that may never come, for an explanation that still wouldn’t make it hurt less, for a final conversation that would somehow erase the pain—you’re wasting your time. Not because your feelings don’t matter, but because your healing doesn’t have to be held hostage by someone else’s choices.
You don’t need their permission to move forward. You don’t need their validation to let go. If you’re tired of waiting, let’s talk about how to claim your own closure—on your terms.
The Moment I Stopped Waiting
I used to believe that closure was a conversation. That if I could just talk things out, if I could just get clarity, I’d be able to let go. But the truth is, I wasn’t really looking for closure—I was looking for permission to move on. I wanted someone else to tell me that it was okay to stop hurting.
There was one relationship in particular where I chased closure for months. I re-read old texts, replayed conversations in my head, tried to make sense of what went wrong. And when I finally got my so-called “closure” conversation? It didn’t help. Because it wasn’t about answers—it was about acceptance. And no one else could give me that.
The day I decided that I didn’t need closure to heal was the day I actually started healing. If you’ve been waiting for the perfect ending, I see you. And I want you to know—you don’t have to wait any longer.
The Myth of Closure
We’re taught that closure is a necessary part of healing. That it’s something we have to get in order to fully move on. But in reality, closure is often just another way we delay our healing, hoping that if we can just understand, the pain will disappear.
But here’s what really happens when we chase closure:
- We give away our power. Waiting for someone else to explain, apologize, or make things right keeps us stuck in their timeline, not our own.
- We assume an answer will change how we feel. But most of the time, even if we got the answers we wanted, it wouldn’t erase the hurt.
- We prolong the pain. Replaying conversations, holding onto “what ifs,” and waiting for validation keeps the wound open instead of allowing it to heal.
- We tie our healing to someone else’s actions. And if they never give us what we’re waiting for? We never get to move forward.
The truth? Closure isn’t about what they say—it’s about what you decide to do next.
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How to Move Forward Without Closure
If you’re ready to stop waiting and start healing, here’s how to claim your own closure:
1. Accept That Some Things Won’t Make Sense
Not everything in life comes with a neatly wrapped explanation. Some endings are abrupt, some betrayals will never feel justified, and some people won’t give you the honesty you deserve. Accepting that you may never fully understand is the first step toward freedom.
2. Write Your Own Ending
If you never get the conversation you’re waiting for, what would you want it to say? Write yourself the closure you need—whether that’s a letter you never send, a journal entry, or a simple decision to stop waiting.
3. Shift the Focus from ‘Why’ to ‘What Now’
Instead of obsessing over why things happened, shift your focus to what you’re going to do now. What lessons did you learn? How are you going to choose yourself moving forward? The best closure is building a life that no longer needs it.
4. Block, Mute, Unfollow—Whatever You Need to Do
Closure isn’t about staying connected until it feels okay—it’s about protecting your peace. If seeing them pop up on social media, hearing updates through mutual friends, or keeping their texts in your phone is keeping you stuck, remove the temptation. Your healing is more important than keeping the door open.
5. Decide That You Are Enough Without Their Validation
At the heart of waiting for closure is often a deeper need—to be seen, to be understood, to be chosen. But you don’t need someone else to acknowledge your worth for it to be real. You are already whole. You are already enough. And you don’t need anyone else’s permission to believe that.
Rising Fierce and Free
At the end of the day, closure isn’t something they can give you. It’s something you claim for yourself.
You don’t need their apology to heal. You don’t need their explanation to let go. You don’t need their understanding to move forward.
So if you’ve been waiting, this is your sign—it’s time to stop. It’s time to choose yourself. It’s time to write your own ending and walk forward without looking back.
Tell me—what’s one thing you’re letting go of today? Drop a comment, share your story, and know that in this space, you are seen, supported, and rising fierce and free.
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Hi, I’m Dylan Moore — and I’m here to help you move past the pain and the trauma that have stood in the way of your healing.
For over 30 years, I’ve guided women through emotional recovery and personal transformation. As an Author and Cognitive Behavioral Specialist, my mission is to empower you with the tools and support you need to break free from the past.
I founded Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University to make healing practical, approachable, and real. I take complex psychological concepts and turn them into clear, actionable steps—always with compassion and care.
Now, it’s your turn to release the hurt and step into the greatest version of who you were always meant to be. And I’ll be right here to walk that path with you.
