How to Stop Apologizing for Having Standards
Dylan Moore, Founder Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University
Ah yes, the modern offense of the century: having standards.
You want communication? Too demanding. You want consistency? So high-maintenance. You don’t want to entertain someone who only texts at 2am like an emotionally illiterate raccoon? Absolutely outrageous.
And then the guilt sets in.
“I don’t want to seem difficult…”
“Maybe I’m asking for too much…”
“I just want them to like me…”
Let’s interrupt that spiral right here: You are not asking for too much. You’re just asking the wrong people.
The ones who benefit from your silence will always call your boundaries “too loud.” But you weren’t born to be agreeable. You were born to be authentic.
The Day I Stopped Explaining My Expectations
There was a time I caught myself editing every ask. Softer tone. Shorter message. A smiley face at the end of a boundary.
Because God forbid I seem too assertive. Too clear. Too “full of myself.”
But one day I realized: I was doing emotional gymnastics just to make other people feel comfortable with the bare minimum.
And the moment I stopped apologizing for my standards? Everything changed.
Not because they suddenly got it. But because I finally did.
Why We Apologize for What We Deserve
If expressing your needs feels like a risk, there’s a reason for that.
✔ You were raised to be agreeable, not honest.
✔ You learned that “being chosen” mattered more than being respected.
✔ You were taught to confuse sacrifice with love.
✔ You equated standards with rejection.
✔ You feared being “too much” in a world that keeps applauding women for being easygoing and emotionally quiet.
But here’s the real truth: You don’t need to be liked by everyone—you need to be respected by yourself.
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How To Stop Apologizing For Your Standards
It’s time to stop filtering your voice and start owning your worth. Here’s how to do it—clearly and confidently.
1. Say It Like You Mean It
“This is what I need” is a full sentence. It doesn’t require footnotes, disclaimers, or a 3-paragraph apology.
2. Get Comfortable With Discomfort
Not everyone will agree. That’s okay. Their confusion is not your cue to compromise.
3. Stop Managing Their Emotions
If your standards scare them, good. Better to be respected at a distance than tolerated up close.
4. Redefine ‘Kindness’ as Clarity
Kind doesn’t mean compliant. It means being honest—even when it’s uncomfortable.
5. Practice Daily Self-Affirmation
Remind yourself: I am allowed to want more. I am allowed to say no. I am allowed to be clear.
You’re Not Demanding—You’re Done Settling
Let’s make this gloriously clear: You were not put on this planet to babysit anyone’s discomfort with your standards.
You don’t have to keep apologizing for not being available for inconsistency, for bare-minimum effort, or for emotionally unavailable partners disguised as “chill.”
So ask yourself: Who told you your standards were too high? And what if that was just their way of convincing you to accept less?
Together we rise. Together we heal. Let’s rise fierce into our new life of personal power and freedom.
Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey
Hi, I’m Dylan Moore — and I’m here to help you move past the pain and the trauma that have stood in the way of your healing.
For over 30 years, I’ve guided women through emotional recovery and personal transformation. As an Author and Cognitive Behavioral Specialist, my mission is to empower you with the tools and support you need to break free from the past.
I founded Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University to make healing practical, approachable, and real. I take complex psychological concepts and turn them into clear, actionable steps—always with compassion and care.
Now, it’s your turn to release the hurt and step into the greatest version of who you were always meant to be. And I’ll be right here to walk that path with you.
