The Truth About People Pleasing and How It Drains You
Dylan Moore, Founder Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University
Let’s get real for a moment: How often do you say “yes” when your soul is screaming “no”? If you’re nodding along, you’re not alone. People pleasing is a sneaky little habit that masquerades as kindness but often leaves us feeling empty, resentful, and utterly drained. The truth? Constantly prioritizing others’ needs over your own isn’t selfless—it’s self-sabotage.
Here’s the empowering takeaway: You don’t have to shrink yourself to make others feel big. Reclaiming your power starts with recognizing how people pleasing drains you and learning to set boundaries that honor your worth. It’s time to rise fierce and free, my love. Let’s dive in.
My Wake-Up Call
Let me tell you about a time I said “yes” to something that made my spirit wilt. A few years ago, I agreed to take on a project that didn’t align with my values or energy—simply because I didn’t want to disappoint someone. Spoiler alert: It didn’t end well. I felt resentful, exhausted, and completely disconnected from myself.
That moment was a wake-up call. I realized how much of my life I’d spent bending over backward to make others happy, only to lose sight of my own needs. It wasn’t until I started setting boundaries and honoring my truth that I truly began to thrive.
This topic matters deeply to me because I see so many incredible women—just like you—trapped in the cycle of people pleasing. You deserve to live a life that feels authentic and fulfilling, not one that leaves you drained and disconnected. I see you, I feel you, and I’m rooting for you. Let’s talk about why this matters and how you can start reclaiming your power
The Hidden Cost of Putting Everyone Else First
People pleasing isn’t just about being “nice”—it’s a survival mechanism. Many of us learned early on that keeping others happy meant staying safe, loved, or accepted. But here’s the hard truth: When you constantly prioritize others’ needs over your own, you send a silent message to yourself that your worth is tied to how much you can give.
The emotional stakes are high. People pleasing can lead to burnout, resentment, and a loss of identity. It’s like pouring from an empty cup, leaving you with nothing left for yourself. And let’s be honest—society often rewards this behavior, especially in women. We’re praised for being selfless, accommodating, and endlessly giving. But at what cost?
The good news? You don’t have to stay stuck in this cycle. Recognizing the toll people pleasing takes on your mental, emotional, and physical well-being is the first step toward freedom. It’s not about becoming selfish—it’s about becoming self-full. You deserve to take up space, set boundaries, and live a life that feels true to you.
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5 Steps to Break Free from People Pleasing
Ready to break free from the people-pleasing trap? Here are some actionable steps to help you reclaim your power:
- Get Clear on Your Values
Take time to identify what truly matters to you. When you’re grounded in your values, it becomes easier to say “no” to things that don’t align with them. Ask yourself: Does this decision honor my truth? - Practice Saying “No”
Start small. Saying “no” doesn’t have to be harsh or confrontational—it can be as simple as, “I’m not able to commit to that right now.” Remember, “no” is a complete sentence. - Set Boundaries with Love
Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out; they’re about protecting your energy. Communicate your needs clearly and compassionately. For example, “I need some quiet time to recharge” is a loving way to set a boundary. - Check in with Your Body
Your body often knows before your mind does. Notice how you feel when someone asks something of you. If your stomach knots or your chest tightens, it’s a sign to pause and reconsider. - Celebrate Your Progress
Breaking free from people pleasing is a journey, not a destination. Celebrate every small win, whether it’s saying “no” or honoring a boundary. You’re doing the work, and that’s worth celebrating.
You’ve got this. Take it one step at a time.
Reclaiming Your Power and Joy
Here’s the truth: You are worthy of a life that feels joyful, authentic, and free. People pleasing may have served you in the past, but it doesn’t have to define your future. By setting boundaries and honoring your needs, you’re not just reclaiming your power—you’re stepping into the fierce, free woman you were always meant to be.
If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to join my community of women who are rising fierce and free. Together, we can support each other on this journey of self-discovery and empowerment. Take a moment to reflect: Where in your life can you start saying “no” to others and “yes” to yourself?
Remember, you’re stronger than you know. Keep shining, keep growing, and keep rising. I’m cheering you on every step of the way.
Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey
Hi, I’m Dylan Moore — and I’m here to help you move past the pain and the trauma that have stood in the way of your healing.
For over 30 years, I’ve guided women through emotional recovery and personal transformation. As an Author and Cognitive Behavioral Specialist, my mission is to empower you with the tools and support you need to break free from the past.
I founded Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University to make healing practical, approachable, and real. I take complex psychological concepts and turn them into clear, actionable steps—always with compassion and care.
Now, it’s your turn to release the hurt and step into the greatest version of who you were always meant to be. And I’ll be right here to walk that path with you.
