The Untold Truth About Healing: What They Don’t Mention
Dylan Moore, Founder Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University
When we talk about healing, we often picture something soft and peaceful. A fresh start. A clean slate. But here’s what they don’t tell you: healing is messy. It’s uncomfortable. It doesn’t always feel like progress. Some days, it feels like you’re breaking more than you’re rebuilding.
Nobody talks about the exhaustion, the grief for the version of you that didn’t know better, the loneliness of outgrowing people who don’t support your growth. Healing isn’t just about becoming whole—it’s about unlearning, about sitting in the discomfort of change, about giving yourself grace when it feels like nothing is shifting.
But here’s the truth: just because it’s hard doesn’t mean you’re failing. Every step, even the painful ones, is part of the process. And if you’re in the thick of it, feeling lost or frustrated, you’re not alone. Healing isn’t a straight path—but it is leading you somewhere powerful.
The Moment I Realized Healing Wasn’t What I Expected
I used to think healing had a clear endpoint. I thought if I worked hard enough, processed everything “correctly,” and did all the right things, I’d wake up one day feeling completely free from my past. But the reality? Healing wasn’t a straight road—it was a cycle of progress, setbacks, and moments of doubt.
I remember one day, after months of therapy and self-work, I was hit with an old trigger. And I thought, Wait—I’m still struggling with this? Didn’t I already heal from this? That moment wrecked me. I felt like I had undone everything, like I wasn’t as strong as I thought.
But here’s what I learned: healing isn’t about never feeling pain again. It’s about responding to it differently. It’s about realizing that setbacks don’t erase progress, that growth doesn’t always feel good, and that healing isn’t linear—it’s layered.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing the work but still struggling, I see you. I know how frustrating it can be. But I promise—just because it doesn’t feel like progress doesn’t mean it’s not happening.
The Reality of Healing That No One Talks About
We live in a world that loves a good “before and after” story. But healing isn’t a quick transformation—it’s a lifelong process. And part of why it’s so hard is because we’ve been sold a false narrative:
- That healing happens quickly.
- That once you “do the work,” the pain disappears.
- That if you’re struggling, you must be doing something wrong.
But the truth is: healing is layered. You’ll revisit old wounds at new levels. You’ll have days where you feel unstoppable and days where it feels like nothing has changed. And that’s normal.
What nobody tells you is that healing also means:
- Grieving the old versions of you that tolerated less than you deserved.
- Letting go of people who don’t support your growth.
- Sitting with emotions that used to scare you.
- Learning to comfort yourself in ways you never received as a child.
And most importantly—realizing that healing isn’t about becoming a new person. It’s about coming home to yourself.
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How to Move Forward: Navigating the Messy Parts of Healing
If healing feels overwhelming, here are some steps to help you move through it with more grace and self-compassion:
1. Stop Measuring Progress by How “Good” You Feel
Healing doesn’t always feel good. Sometimes it feels like breaking. Instead of asking, Am I healed yet?, ask How am I showing up for myself today? Progress is in the small moments—choosing a boundary, responding differently, being kind to yourself when old wounds resurface.
2. Accept That Triggers Don’t Mean You’re Failing
Healing doesn’t mean you’ll never be triggered again—it means you’ll learn how to navigate it differently. Instead of beating yourself up when something hurts, remind yourself: This is just another layer of healing. I’ve been here before, and I know how to take care of myself.
3. Allow Yourself to Grieve What You’re Letting Go Of
Nobody talks about the grief that comes with healing. The grief of leaving behind old patterns, old relationships, even old versions of yourself. Let yourself feel it. Mourning the past is part of making space for the future.
4. Create a “Safe Space” for Your Healing
Healing is easier when you have a space—physical or emotional—where you feel safe. This could be a journal, a trusted friend, or a quiet ritual you do for yourself. Find something that grounds you when healing feels overwhelming.
5. Give Yourself Permission to Rest
Growth takes energy. Some days, the most healing thing you can do is nothing at all. Rest isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a necessary part of the process. Give yourself permission to take breaks without guilt.
Rise Fierce and Free
Healing is not a destination. It’s a lifelong relationship with yourself—a commitment to choosing growth even when it’s hard, to trusting yourself even when you doubt, and to believing that you are worthy of the peace you’re creating.
You are not failing. You are not behind. You are in the messy, beautiful, necessary process of becoming more you.
So take a deep breath. Give yourself grace. And remind yourself—this work is worth it.
Now, I’d love to hear from you. What’s one thing that has helped you navigate your healing journey? Let’s talk in the comments.
You are rising. You are healing. And you are so much stronger than you know.
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Hi, I’m Dylan Moore — and I’m here to help you move past the pain and the trauma that have stood in the way of your healing.
For over 30 years, I’ve guided women through emotional recovery and personal transformation. As an Author and Cognitive Behavioral Specialist, my mission is to empower you with the tools and support you need to break free from the past.
I founded Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University to make healing practical, approachable, and real. I take complex psychological concepts and turn them into clear, actionable steps—always with compassion and care.
Now, it’s your turn to release the hurt and step into the greatest version of who you were always meant to be. And I’ll be right here to walk that path with you.
