Why It’s Hard to Ask for Help (Even When You Need It)
Dylan Moore, Founder Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University
You’re drowning in responsibilities, feeling overwhelmed, and struggling to hold it all together. You know you need help, but the words won’t come out. Instead, you push through, convincing yourself that you can handle it alone—because asking for help feels impossible.
Sound familiar?
If asking for help feels harder than just doing it all yourself, you’re not alone. So many of us have been conditioned to believe that needing help is a weakness, that we should be able to handle everything on our own. But here’s the truth: asking for help is not a sign of failure—it’s a sign of strength.
You don’t have to carry everything alone. You deserve support. And learning to ask for help isn’t just about making life easier—it’s about learning to trust, to receive, and to heal.
The Moment I Realized I Was Terrified to Ask for Help
For years, I prided myself on being independent. I didn’t ask for help—not because I didn’t need it, but because I didn’t know how. Somewhere along the way, I had learned that needing help meant being weak, that if I couldn’t handle things on my own, I was somehow failing.
I remember one particular night, sitting in my car after an exhausting day, feeling completely drained. I wanted to call someone. I wanted to say, I need help. But I couldn’t. The words felt stuck in my throat. Instead, I sat there in silence, telling myself, You should be able to handle this.
That moment forced me to ask myself: Why is this so hard for me? And the answer wasn’t about pride—it was about fear. Fear of burdening others. Fear of looking incapable. Fear that if I let someone in, they might let me down.
If you’ve ever felt like this, I see you. I know how heavy it feels to hold everything on your own. But I also know—you don’t have to. And learning to ask for help isn’t about being weak. It’s about learning that you are worthy of support.
The Barriers to Asking for Help
There’s a reason so many of us struggle to ask for help. Actually, there are several reasons:
1. You Were Taught That Independence is Everything
If you grew up hearing, “You have to be strong,” or “Don’t rely on anyone,” then asking for help might feel unnatural. Our culture glorifies self-sufficiency, often equating asking for help with weakness. But that’s a lie. True strength isn’t about doing it alone—it’s about knowing when to lean on others.
2. You Fear Being a Burden
Many of us hesitate to ask for help because we don’t want to “bother” people. But here’s the thing: if someone you loved needed help, wouldn’t you want them to ask you? People who care about you want to support you. You just have to give them the chance.
3. You Don’t Want to Feel Vulnerable
Asking for help means admitting you don’t have it all figured out. And if you’ve spent your life proving your strength, that kind of vulnerability can feel terrifying. But vulnerability isn’t weakness—it’s realness. And realness is what creates genuine connection.
4. You’ve Been Let Down Before
Maybe you did ask for help once, and it didn’t go well. Maybe someone ignored your needs, dismissed your feelings, or made you regret reaching out. That hurt is valid. But not everyone will fail you. There are safe, supportive people out there—you just have to find the right ones.
If any of these resonate with you, know this: your feelings are valid, but they don’t have to control you. You can learn to ask for help without guilt, fear, or shame.
Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey
Learning to Ask for Help Without Fear
1. Start Small
You don’t have to go from never asking for help to spilling your deepest struggles overnight. Start with something small—asking a friend for advice, accepting help with a task, or simply saying, I could use some support today. The more you practice, the easier it gets.
2. Reframe Your Thinking
Instead of seeing asking for help as a weakness, try shifting your perspective:
- Asking for help doesn’t mean I’m failing—it means I’m human.
- People who care about me want to support me.
- Letting others in doesn’t make me weak. It makes me strong.
3. Choose the Right People
Not everyone deserves access to your vulnerability. If you’ve been let down in the past, it’s okay to be cautious. Start with the people who have proven themselves trustworthy—the ones who listen, who show up, who make you feel safe.
4. Use Clear, Direct Language
If you’re new to asking for help, it can feel uncomfortable. Try simple, direct phrases like:
- “I’m feeling overwhelmed—can you help me with this?”
- “I don’t need advice, just someone to listen. Can you be there for me?”
- “I’m struggling right now. Can I lean on you for support?”
5. Practice Receiving Without Guilt
When someone offers help, resist the urge to say, “Oh, I’m fine.” Instead, practice receiving with grace. Say, “Thank you, I really appreciate this.” Let yourself be supported. You don’t have to earn care—you deserve it.
Rise Fierce and Free
You don’t have to hold it all together. You don’t have to be strong all the time. You are allowed to need support, to lean on others, to not do it all alone.
Healing begins when you realize that asking for help isn’t a weakness—it’s a courageous act of self-love. It’s a reminder that you matter.
So here’s my challenge for you: What’s one small way you can ask for help this week? Maybe it’s reaching out to a friend, delegating a task, or simply admitting that you’re struggling. Whatever it is, take that step. Because you, my friend, are not meant to carry everything alone.
You are rising. You are healing. And you are so much stronger than you know.
Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey
Hi, I’m Dylan Moore — and I’m here to help you move past the pain and the trauma that have stood in the way of your healing.
For over 30 years, I’ve guided women through emotional recovery and personal transformation. As an Author and Cognitive Behavioral Specialist, my mission is to empower you with the tools and support you need to break free from the past.
I founded Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University to make healing practical, approachable, and real. I take complex psychological concepts and turn them into clear, actionable steps—always with compassion and care.
Now, it’s your turn to release the hurt and step into the greatest version of who you were always meant to be. And I’ll be right here to walk that path with you.
