Why You Keep ‘Joking’ About Your Trauma (And Why That’s Not Helping)
Dylan Moore, Founder Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University
You’ve mastered the art of making your pain palatable.
You lace heartbreak with sarcasm. You dress up emotional bruises in comedy. You serve up the worst moments of your life with a punchline and a wink—hoping nobody flinches.
“I have the emotional range of a teaspoon.”
“It’s not trauma, it’s a character arc.”
“If I don’t laugh at it, I’ll unravel—and I don’t have time for a breakdown this week.”
Sound familiar?
Let’s be honest: This isn’t just wit. This is self-protection wearing a smile.
Humor is powerful. But when it becomes the only way you can speak about your pain? That’s not self-expression. That’s a survival mechanism.
The Joke I Couldn’t Laugh At Anymore
I used to pride myself on being the “funny one.” I could turn anything—rejection, heartbreak, even deep trauma—into a laugh. It made people feel comfortable. It made me feel safe.
Until one day I cracked a joke about something that truly hurt me, and someone I cared about didn’t laugh. They looked at me and said, “I don’t think that’s funny. I think that’s pain you’ve never felt safe enough to name.”
It knocked the air out of me. Because they were right.
I wasn’t coping—I was covering. And I realized: it’s hard to heal what you keep laughing away.
When Humor Becomes Emotional Camouflage
If you constantly turn pain into punchlines, there’s a reason.
✔ You were punished or ignored for being honest. Vulnerability wasn’t safe, so you dressed it in jokes.
✔ You learned that being funny made you lovable. So you kept the spotlight—even if it meant hiding your real feelings.
✔ You confused humor with healing. If people laugh, it means you’re okay… right?
✔ You feared being “too much,” so you became entertaining instead.
✔ You believed your pain was only valid if it made others comfortable. So you kept it light—even when it felt heavy.
But here’s the truth:
You don’t have to bleed in iambic pentameter to deserve care. Your pain matters—even when it’s not punchy.
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How To Unmask The Joke And Speak Your Truth
Let’s honor your humor without using it as armor.
1. Say It Without the Smile
Try: “That really hurt me.” Not: “Well, I guess rejection is my love language now.”
2. Journal the Joke
What are you always turning into humor? What’s beneath it? Your subconscious is trying to talk to you—listen.
3. Let Safe People See the Real You
Not everyone deserves your vulnerability. But someone does. Let at least one person hear the version without the laugh track.
4. Use Humor as a Companion—Not a Cloak
Laughing at pain after you’ve felt it? Beautiful. Laughing instead of feeling it? Delaying your healing.
5. Validate Your Own Emotions—Even the Messy Ones
Say to yourself: “I don’t need to entertain to be loved. I get to be real.”
You’re Allowed to Be More Than the Comic Relief
Let me lovingly remind you:
You are not just the funny friend. You are not just the one who keeps it light. You are not your trauma’s tour guide with a microphone and a one-liner.
You are a whole human being. And your softness, your sadness, your silence—they’re sacred, too.
So ask yourself:
Who taught you your pain only had value if it came with a punchline? And who might you become if you finally spoke your truth—without the need to be entertaining?
Together we rise. Together we heal. Let’s rise fierce into our new life of personal power and freedom.
Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey
Hi, I’m Dylan Moore — and I’m here to help you move past the pain and the trauma that have stood in the way of your healing.
For over 30 years, I’ve guided women through emotional recovery and personal transformation. As an Author and Cognitive Behavioral Specialist, my mission is to empower you with the tools and support you need to break free from the past.
I founded Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University to make healing practical, approachable, and real. I take complex psychological concepts and turn them into clear, actionable steps—always with compassion and care.
Now, it’s your turn to release the hurt and step into the greatest version of who you were always meant to be. And I’ll be right here to walk that path with you.
