Why You Keep Minimizing Your Own Feelings
Dylan Moore, Founder Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University
Ever caught yourself thinking: It’s not a big deal. Other people have it worse. I’m probably overreacting?
You push your emotions down. You tell yourself you shouldn’t feel the way you do. You dismiss your pain before anyone else can.
This is more than just downplaying emotions—it’s a pattern. A survival instinct. And if you’ve been doing it for years, it’s no wonder that validating your own feelings feels unnatural.
But here’s the truth: Your feelings don’t need to be compared, justified, or minimized. They are real, and they matter.
If you’ve been taught to ignore your emotions, let’s talk about why you do it—and how you can start honoring what you feel instead of pushing it aside.
The Moment I Realized I Was Dismissing My Own Feelings
For most of my life, I thought I was just being strong. I kept my emotions in check, rationalized my struggles, and told myself to move on instead of feeling through things.
Then one day, a friend asked me: How are you, really?
And instead of answering, I immediately started minimizing: I’m fine. It’s not a big deal. Other people have worse problems.
But that wasn’t the truth. The truth was, I was exhausted. I was carrying more than I wanted to admit. And in that moment, I realized: I wasn’t being strong. I was shutting myself down.
If you’ve ever struggled to let yourself fully feel, I see you. But I also want you to know—your feelings are valid. You don’t have to downplay them to deserve support, healing, or care.
The Cost of Minimizing Your Emotions
Minimizing your feelings might feel like self-protection, but in the long run, it does more harm than good.
1. You Lose Connection With Yourself
When you constantly dismiss your emotions, you start losing touch with what you really feel. Over time, this can make it harder to know what you actually need.
2. Your Pain Doesn’t Go Away—It Gets Buried
Ignoring your emotions doesn’t make them disappear—it just pushes them deeper. Eventually, they resurface as stress, anxiety, burnout, or even physical symptoms.
3. You Struggle to Ask for Support
If you’ve spent your life downplaying your feelings, asking for help can feel impossible. You might feel like a burden, convinced your struggles “aren’t bad enough” to deserve attention.
4. You Hold Yourself to an Unfair Standard
Would you ever tell a friend, Your feelings don’t matter. Other people have it worse? No. So why is it okay to say that to yourself?
The truth is: Your emotions don’t have to be “the worst” to be real. Your struggles don’t have to be extreme to be valid. You deserve support, even on your hardest days.
Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey
3 Steps to Stop Minimizing Your Feelings
1. Practice Noticing When You Minimize Your Emotions
Before you can change the habit, you have to notice when it happens. Pay attention to phrases like:
- It’s not that bad.
- Other people have real problems.
- I should just get over it.
- I’m probably overreacting.
When you catch yourself minimizing, pause. Ask: If someone else told me this, would I dismiss them?
If the answer is no, then you deserve to extend that same compassion to yourself.
2. Start Validating Your Own Feelings (Even When It Feels Uncomfortable)
Instead of dismissing what you feel, practice acknowledging it.
Try replacing:
- “I shouldn’t feel this way” → “It’s okay that I feel this way.”
- “It’s not that bad” → “This is hard for me, and that matters.”
- “I just need to get over it” → “I deserve to process this at my own pace.”
Your emotions don’t need permission to exist. They already do. Learning to validate them is the first step toward healing.
3. Give Yourself Space to Feel (Without Judgment)
If you’ve spent years pushing down emotions, feeling again can be overwhelming. But emotions are like waves—they pass more easily when you allow them instead of fighting them.
Try:
- Journaling your thoughts without censoring yourself.
- Sitting with your emotions instead of immediately distracting yourself.
- Talking to someone safe about what you’re going through.
The goal isn’t to fix your emotions—it’s to let yourself experience them.
Rise Fierce and Free
If you’ve been minimizing your feelings for years, I want you to hear this: Your emotions are valid. Your struggles are real. You don’t have to justify your pain to deserve healing.
So here’s my challenge for you: What’s one small way you can honor your emotions today? Maybe it’s letting yourself rest instead of pushing through. Maybe it’s journaling about what you’re feeling. Maybe it’s simply saying to yourself: My feelings matter.
Whatever it is, take that step. Because you, my friend, are rising. You are healing. And you are so much stronger than the silence that once held you back.
Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey
Hi, I’m Dylan Moore — and I’m here to help you move past the pain and the trauma that have stood in the way of your healing.
For over 30 years, I’ve guided women through emotional recovery and personal transformation. As an Author and Cognitive Behavioral Specialist, my mission is to empower you with the tools and support you need to break free from the past.
I founded Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University to make healing practical, approachable, and real. I take complex psychological concepts and turn them into clear, actionable steps—always with compassion and care.
Now, it’s your turn to release the hurt and step into the greatest version of who you were always meant to be. And I’ll be right here to walk that path with you.
