Why You Struggle to Trust Others (It’s Not Just You)

Dylan Moore, Founder Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University

You want to believe people mean well. You want to feel safe relying on others. But deep down, there’s a part of you that hesitates. Maybe you overthink people’s words, waiting for the moment they let you down. Maybe you keep a safe distance, never fully letting people in. Maybe you assume if you don’t depend on anyone, you can’t be hurt.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Struggling to trust isn’t a flaw—it’s a response to what you’ve been through.

Because trust isn’t just about believing in others. It’s about feeling safe enough to let go. And if your past has taught you that people aren’t reliable, that vulnerability leads to disappointment, or that safety means self-sufficiency, trust can feel impossible.

But here’s the truth: Healing isn’t about blindly trusting everyone. It’s about learning to trust yourself enough to know who’s worthy of your openness.

If you’ve been struggling with trust, let’s talk about why—and how you can begin to rebuild it in a way that feels safe.

The Moment I Realized I Didn’t Trust Easily

For a long time, I didn’t think of myself as someone with trust issues. I had friends, I built relationships—but when it came down to it, I never fully let go. I relied on myself, kept my emotions guarded, and avoided leaning on others too much.

Then, one day, someone close to me asked, Why don’t you ever ask for help? And I didn’t have a good answer. The truth was, I had learned—without even realizing it—that needing people wasn’t safe. That if I relied on someone too much, I’d just end up disappointed.

That realization hit hard. Because I wanted to trust. I wanted to believe I could count on others. But the fear of getting hurt was stronger than the desire to let people in.

If you’ve ever felt this way, I see you. But I also want you to know—it’s possible to rebuild trust in a way that protects you without isolating you. And it starts with understanding where your fear comes from.

The Root of Your Fear of Trust

If trusting others feels hard, there’s a reason for it. And chances are, it has nothing to do with who you are—and everything to do with what you’ve experienced.

1. Past Betrayals Have Shaped Your View of Trust

If you’ve been lied to, abandoned, or manipulated in the past, your brain remembers. It learns that trusting people is risky, that love can be conditional, and that protecting yourself means keeping people at a distance.

This isn’t weakness—it’s survival. But while this response may have kept you safe before, it can also keep you closed off from healthy relationships now.

2. You Were Taught That Trust Must Be Earned (But Never Given)

Maybe you grew up in an environment where trust had to be proven, where love felt conditional, or where mistakes weren’t easily forgiven. If that’s the case, trust might feel like something other people have to earn—while you never feel fully safe in return.

3. You Associate Vulnerability With Weakness

If you’ve ever felt like trusting others means giving up control, it makes sense why you’d avoid it. Many of us were raised to believe that being independent is the safest way to live. That relying on others makes you vulnerable. That asking for support means you’re failing.

But the truth is—trust isn’t about weakness. It’s about knowing when you don’t have to carry everything alone.

Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey

Rebuilding Trust in a Safe Way

1. Recognize That Your Fear is Valid (But Not Permanent)

Your fear of trusting isn’t irrational—it’s a response to your experiences. But just because trust has been unsafe before doesn’t mean it always will be.

Start by acknowledging your fear without judgment:

  • “I struggle with trust because I’ve been hurt before.”
  • “It makes sense that I protect myself, but I don’t have to stay guarded forever.”
  • “I can learn to trust again, at my own pace.”

Giving yourself compassion makes the process feel less like a battle and more like a journey.

2. Learn to Trust Yourself First

One of the biggest reasons we struggle with trust? We don’t trust ourselves to make the right choices about who to let in.

Instead of forcing yourself to trust others immediately, focus on rebuilding trust in yourself:

  • Listen to your gut – If someone feels unsafe, trust that instinct.
  • Honor your boundaries – If something doesn’t feel right, you don’t have to explain why.
  • Recognize your strength – You’ve survived betrayal before. You can handle life, no matter what happens.

The more you trust yourself, the less terrifying it feels to open up to others.

3. Start Small With Trust

Trust doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing thing. You don’t have to immediately open your heart wide.

Start with small, low-risk situations:

  • Share a minor vulnerability with a safe person.
  • Let someone help you with something small.
  • Accept kindness without questioning if it’s too good to be true.

Each small step builds confidence—until trusting others feels a little less like a risk and more like a choice.

4. Let Yourself Be Seen (Even If It’s Scary)

One of the biggest blocks to trust is not feeling fully seen. If you’ve spent years keeping parts of yourself hidden—your struggles, your fears, your true emotions—it’s time to start letting people witness you.

That doesn’t mean oversharing with everyone. It means slowly allowing yourself to be known.

  • Speak honestly about how you feel instead of pretending you’re fine.
  • Ask for support when you need it, even if it feels unnatural.
  • Let yourself receive love without immediately pushing it away.

Because trust doesn’t just mean relying on others—it means allowing yourself to be loved in the way you deserve.

5. Remind Yourself That Trust is a Choice, Not a Guarantee

Trust doesn’t mean expecting people to be perfect. It means allowing people the chance to show up for you.

Instead of thinking, “What if they hurt me?” try reframing it:

  • “What if this time is different?”
  • “What if I allow love instead of fearing loss?”
  • “What if I trust that no matter what happens, I’ll be okay?”

Because here’s the thing—you don’t need to trust everyone. You just need to start trusting that you will be okay, no matter what.

Rise Fierce and Free

If you’ve struggled to trust, I want you to hear this: It’s not just you. And you are not broken.

Your fear of trust isn’t a flaw—it’s a response to what you’ve lived through. But you don’t have to live guarded forever. You deserve relationships that feel safe, love that doesn’t feel like a risk, and a life where trust isn’t terrifying.

So here’s my challenge for you: What’s one small way you can practice trust this week? Maybe it’s letting someone in just a little more. Maybe it’s trusting yourself first. Maybe it’s simply believing that healing is possible.

Whatever it is, take that step. Because you, my friend, are rising. You are healing. And you are so much stronger than the fear that once held you back.

Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey

Hi, I’m Dylan Moore — and I’m here to help you move past the pain and the trauma that have stood in the way of your healing.

For over 30 years, I’ve guided women through emotional recovery and personal transformation. As an Author and Cognitive Behavioral Specialist, my mission is to empower you with the tools and support you need to break free from the past.

I founded Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University to make healing practical, approachable, and real. I take complex psychological concepts and turn them into clear, actionable steps—always with compassion and care.

Now, it’s your turn to release the hurt and step into the greatest version of who you were always meant to be. And I’ll be right here to walk that path with you.