Dylan Moore, Founder Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University
Let’s get this out of the way: You are not “too much.” You’re not too sensitive. You’re not bad at love. You were simply taught a version of love that confused pain with passion, control with care, and silence with safety.
If love has ever felt confusing, hard, or like something you keep failing at—you’re not alone. And more importantly, you’re not the problem.
Here’s the truth: You can’t master what you were never modeled.
When we grow up around relationships that were unpredictable, unavailable, or unsafe, we internalize those dynamics as normal. And then, without realizing it, we repeat them. Not because we want to—but because it’s what we know.
But that doesn’t have to be the end of your story.
This post is your reminder that love isn’t supposed to hurt. You deserve healthy, grounded, mutual love—and learning how to receive it starts by unlearning what you thought love was.
Learning Love the Hard Way
Hi, Dylan here.
I used to think love was earned. That if I just worked hard enough, stayed quiet enough, gave enough—I’d finally feel chosen. I didn’t grow up seeing love that was steady or safe. I saw love that walked away. Love that criticized. Love that left me wondering what I did wrong.
So I became someone who over-functioned. Over-apologized. Overcompensated. All in the name of keeping love.
It wasn’t until a relationship ended—and I mean spectacularly—that I finally asked myself: “Why do I keep calling this love when it leaves me feeling small?”
That question changed everything.
This topic matters deeply to me because I’ve watched too many women (and lived it myself) trying to “get better at love” without realizing the problem was never them. It was the blueprint they were given.
If that hits home, please hear me—I see you. I feel you. And I’m rooting for you as you rewrite the script.
Unlearning the Love You Were Taught
The way we experience love in our earliest years creates the emotional blueprint we unconsciously follow in adulthood. If love was inconsistent, manipulative, or conditional, we learn to associate those traits with connection.
And society doesn’t help. It romanticizes chaos, normalizes emotional unavailability, and teaches women to be “ride or die” for people who wouldn’t cross the street for them. We internalize the idea that being hard to love is our fault—that if we were just better, quieter, easier, they’d treat us right.
But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
You were never supposed to settle for breadcrumbs. You were never meant to confuse anxiety for excitement or silence for peace. But if all you’ve ever known is love that hurts, healthy love might feel boring—or even unsafe.
That’s why this matters. Because until we unpack the old stories we’ve carried, we’ll keep repeating them. Not because we’re broken, but because we’re still chasing a version of love that never really existed.
But here’s the beautiful part: You can learn something new. You can choose differently. You can become the kind of partner—and the kind of woman—who expects and accepts nothing less than love that honors her.
Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey
Relearning Love, One Brave Choice at a Time
- Identify the Love You Learned
Take a moment to reflect: What messages about love did you absorb growing up? Were you taught that love was earned? That it disappeared without warning? That it came with strings? Naming these patterns helps you detach from them. - Redefine What Healthy Love Looks Like
Healthy love is consistent. It’s respectful. It’s rooted in emotional safety, not highs and lows. Write out what you now believe love should feel like. Gentle. Grounded. Mutual. Let this be your new compass. - Notice Your Body’s Signals
Sometimes your nervous system will confuse “familiar” with “safe.” If your body feels tense, anxious, or exhausted in a relationship—that’s worth paying attention to. Healthy love will bring calm, not confusion. - Practice Receiving, Not Just Giving
So many of us were raised to give and give and give. But receiving love—true, nourishing love—can feel foreign. Start small: let someone support you, compliment you, be there for you. You deserve that. - Get Support as You Rewire
You don’t have to do this alone. Therapy, coaching, community—whatever it looks like for you, find spaces that model and mirror the love you’re learning to believe in.
You’ve got this. It won’t always feel easy, but every time you choose yourself, you are healing generations of unspoken wounds. You’re not starting from scratch—you’re starting from wisdom.
Rising Fierce and Free
You were never bad at love—you were simply handed a broken blueprint. And now? You get to rebuild.
Piece by piece. Choice by choice. You get to create a new definition of love—one rooted in truth, tenderness, and trust.
You are not too damaged. You are not too late. You are not unlovable.
You are rising.
And as you rise, you’re not just healing yourself—you’re rewriting the story for every woman who never saw love done right.
So take a breath. Take a step. And remember: the love you deserve is already within you. Now it’s just about allowing it in.
If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear about it. What’s one old love belief you’re ready to let go of? Drop it in the comments or journal it out for yourself. You are stronger than you know—and you’re not walking this journey alone.
Click Here to Start Your Empowerment Journey
Hi, I’m Dylan Moore — and I’m here to help you move past the pain and the trauma that have stood in the way of your healing.
For over 30 years, I’ve guided women through emotional recovery and personal transformation. As an Author and Cognitive Behavioral Specialist, my mission is to empower you with the tools and support you need to break free from the past.
I founded Balanced Analysis LLC and Breaking Barriers University to make healing practical, approachable, and real. I take complex psychological concepts and turn them into clear, actionable steps—always with compassion and care.
Now, it’s your turn to release the hurt and step into the greatest version of who you were always meant to be. And I’ll be right here to walk that path with you.
